Billionaires, Bad Boys, and Bondage, Part 4

And now, the blog post you've all been waiting for, Billionaires, Bad Boys, and Bondage, Part 4: Bondage! (past installments: Billionaires, Bad Boys: Inner Torment, Bad Boys: Jackassery). (Caution: soapboxing may occur. If I cause offense, I make no apologies; I stand by my words.)

I'm going to start out with two basic ideas. The first is that there's nothing wrong with a certain amount of roleplay and fun and games between consenting partners, the key word here being consenting. I'm not conversant with the BDSM lifestyle or practices, but from online discussions I've read on the subject of Billionaire Bondage novels (both in forums and in book reviews), I'm given to understand that among those in that community, consent is key. In other words, you don't do what Bux Cashton does: he informs Sweet Young Thing that he is the dominant and she is going to be the submissive, and if she wants to be with him that's how it's going to be; they're going to play by his rules. By this time, she's far too taken with him (goodness knows why; see the Jackassery installment) for it to be easy for her to say, "Get lost," and even if she does, he isn't one to take "Get lost" for an answer. So, basically, she is being coerced, emotionally bullied, and manipulated into entering into this sexual practice.

Idea number two: While there's nothing wrong with a certain amount of roleplay and fun and games between consenting partners, the desire to cause feelings of pain, humiliation, and helplessness in one's partner has no place whatsoever in a loving, healthy relationship.

That should be self-explanatory; I can't imagine that it isn't. So I'm not going to bother trying to explain further. I'm just going to say that if you are in a relationship with someone who takes pleasure in hurting you or making you feel bad, you need to get out. In Billionaire Bondage books, Bux Cashton does enjoy those things. He gets off on it; it makes him feel powerful, and it's an outlet for his feelings of Inner Torment. I don't understand why Sweet Young Thing sticks around long enough for Bux to eventually reform (to the extent that he does), except Hot Tormented Billionaire.

In my books, sex between the main characters is an act of love, or at least mutual liking and attraction (later developing into love), between equal partners (equal regardless of whatever differences in age, social status, or previous experience might exist between them) who are each as deeply concerned with the other person's comfort, enjoyment, and well-being as with their own. Consent is asked for and received, at least the first time (with one exception, but in this instance they're too busy tearing each other's clothes off to stop and talk about it, so I guess the consent is implied), and after that first time there continues to be a sensitivity to the other person's mood and willingness.

Being tied up does become a running joke during one story (and no I'm not going to say which one; you'll have to read and find out, bwahaha), because of something that happens accidentally - something that the woman does, incidentally, so the roles here are switched around.

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It's the villains who engage in sexual sadism (btw, I did mention at some point that my books are not for young readers but for adults and older teens, right?). Not in every book, but there are a few who use that as part of their power play. And occasionally one of the main characters is involved in a wrong relationship (before taking up with the right person, the other main character) and the ideals I talked about above don't necessarily apply to those relationships. But when the main characters do get together, that's how it is, because that's what I believe a loving, healthy intimate relationship should be.

So, the Bondage Scale:

Eruz (Urdaisunia): He does have concubines (common in his culture for a man of his ranking), but he usually feels like it's really more trouble than it's worth, and would never force any of them to do anything they don't want to. And where he lives, pain and suffering are so common that he would rather use sex to escape from it, not to indulge in more of it.
Bondage Rating: 0

Sevry (Chosen of Azara): No time for sex, never mind kinky sex. Plus, he's seen too much suffering in his life to find anything fun or sexy about it.
Bondage Rating: 0

Roric (The Lost Book of Anggird): Nope, no way. Uh-uh. Forget it. He's experienced too much personal suffering to want to inflict it on another person.
Bondage Rating: 0

Adan (Sarya's Song): He already blew it once with Sarya; if he ever gets another chance, he isn't taking any risk that he might blow it again. As for other relationships, he's just too easy-going and too much of an all-around nice guy to want to hurt anyone.
Bondage Rating: 0

Silas (Daughter of the Wildings): He's seen people hurt other people just because they can, and he has no desire to be that kind of person.
Bondage Rating: 0

Edit: I've had some complaints from the gentlemen that this rating makes them all sound like they're boring in bed. So I'll note that the Bondage Rating is based strictly on disregard for consent and the degree of enjoyment obtained from causing feelings of pain, humiliation, and helplessness (with fun and games, adventurousness, etc. not being considered.)

And to soothe some ruffled pride here, I'll give them all a big 10 on the special Red-Hot Lovers scale. Or, ok, 11.  That better, guys? (Aw, look, I made Sevry blush!) And no, Silas, the scale does not go to 12. *sheesh*

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So, in conclusion, on a scale of 0 to 40 points on the Billionaires, Bad Boys, and Bondage rating, we have:

Eruz (Urdaisunia): 12 points
Sevry (Chosen of Azara): 10 points
Roric (The Lost Book of Anggird): 17 points (scored high on Inner Torment)
Adan (Sarya's Song): 17 points (scored high on Billionaire)
Silas (Daughter of the Wildings): 9

I am therefore forced to conclude that I am not really in step with the BBB&B trend. That's okay, though. It's been a fun way to look at my heroes from some different angles, but, in all seriousness, it isn't something I would want to write. It's just too far removed from my ideal of what men, women, and the relationships between them can be, an ideal that I feel it's important to convey through my writing. I'm writing what I love and what I believe in, and I'm happy with it.

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